Why do people lurk? I confess I may be guilty of this on rare occasions because I skim a post or two on other blogs but don’t comment. This is not because I don’t want to, but most of the time I’m not sufficiently interested to comment. But when I am I do comment, sometimes at length.
Some bloggers have said that they lurk and don’t comment because they don’t know their way around a site. Others are intimidated because everyone else on the site seems to be familiar with each other and they’re shy about bringing attention to themselves.
Are you a lurker? Why? I realize responding to this post will take you out of your comfort zone if you have never commented before, but I’m really interested in why people lurk and don’t comment on blog posts when they already take the time to access the blog. This site has many lurkers. How do I know this? I check the daily statistics against the number of comments on the posts and the proportion of people who comment compared to those who lurk is so small it’s not worth repeating.
If you’re shy, how can I make it more comfortable for you to comment on the blog posts? I think we offer a lot of variety and different topics to interest even the most discerning or casual visitor as well as a lot of fun posts, and although many of you comment (probably more than on other sites) I think there is room for improvement. I value the contribution of everyone who accesses the site and one thing you can be assured of is that you won’t be insulted if you offer dissenting opinions from the majority of posters as long as you’re polite. One of the rules of this site is that posters have to be polite to each other or their invitation to post is revoked. (I have only done that once because a blogger was insulting a guest reviewer). There are no wank fests here!!! 😀
To keep the site current I usually invite bloggers to give me suggestions for new posts and your suggestion could be the next blog post. Is there something I’m missing? I consider everyone’s contribution to be valuable and I try to be a good blog owner. Many of you tell me that this is the first site you log on to every morning or evening or even when you’re supposed to be working 😀
Looking forward to hearing from you or I’ll send my dog Snoopy to come get you.
I used to be a lurker but only for a short period. It is more fun to take part than to watch from the sidelines. Even though I don´t answer to all posts.
Hi Ingrid
It’s great to know that we pulled you out of lurkdom. 😀 So what you’re saying is that you have more fun participating rather than watching from the sidelines? That’s good to know and it must mean that the content is interesting enough to make you want to comment.
Since I am on of those logging on from work ( big hugs for Christian to make this mobile site working again!) I can only say that it is rather entertaining during work hours.
You’re very bad Ingrid. You should send Christian an email so that he knows how much he’s contributing to you wasting time at work. 😀
I can identify with lurkers. I lurked on blogs for 4 years (including this one) before I started my own blog and decided that the only way to get people to read my blog would be to start commenting on theirs :).
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It was hard though, bloody hard. I didn’t comment because I rarely felt what I had to say was worth saying. In fact, I started my own blog so I could voice my own opinions on some of the topics where I didn’t feel I could comment on other blogs. I felt small and insignificant and that no-one would possibly be interested in what I have to say.
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It wasn’t until I tried my hand at commenting, especially on the smaller blogs that don’t seem to have huge numbers of followers, that I realised that bloggers on the whole are a nice bunch of people who aren’t going to shoot you down because you’ve stuck your head over the parapet and voiced your opinion. Once I started commenting it got easier and now I comment all over the place and have become quite blasé about the whole thing!
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Having said that, there are some blogs where I still won’t comment because they don’t give off that ‘friendly’ vibe and I’m too worried that whatever I say will be taken up and torn to shreds.
Jen
>>I lurked on blogs for 4 years (including this one) before I started my own blog and decided that the only way to get people to read my blog would be to start commenting on theirs.<< * Thank you for commenting. I have always commented even before I had a blog and I soon found out the blogs that were not welcoming and stopped going there. This problem affects many blogs and I know of a few blog owners who gave up because they could not attract anyone to their blogs even though the content was good. I used to post a lot on Livejournal but I found that keeping up with both was too much work so I only occasionally post there (mirror posts usually) or if it's something really personal. * I know it's intimidating for many bloggers or readers to comment that first time, but after getting their feet wet they should be able to make themselves heard. It's great for a lurker to log on to a blog for information, but it's better to contribute and participate, otherwise I find that the blog or website becomes stagnant for lack of new ideas. * Many times I get great ideas from the wonderful readers/bloggers who access this site, and their comments have helped me enormously when I'm feeling down so it's good therapy too. 😀 I hope that some of the reviews and blog posts provide a welcome change for bloggers during their day and that the more they participate the more comfortable they will become with commenting.
Um. When I lurk here, it’s often because I’m reading via my feedreader at work and it wouldn’t be wise to click through. 😉
Chris
You do know that you can comment on the reader?? You don’t have to click through and you can even access the site through your mobile phone. How convenient is that? 😀
Sometimes I would have posted if I had come upon the original post the day it was written, but to come in three days later, it feels like I’ve missed the window of opportunity.
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That’s my own time-management issue, though. Nothing you can do to improve it, Wave 😉
Hi Jordan
Thanks for stopping by. I do know that many people have time management issues, (I do too) but unbelievable as it sounds I still get comments to posts that have been on the site for over a year and I welcome them. Being late doesn’t negate the comments and sometimes it’s better because the blogger has read the previous comments and asked a question that no one else thought of. So that works very well.
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BTW I didn’t see a comment from you on the rosebuds. In case you didn’t see the post here is a link (I’m not doing the recap until the weekend so you still have time) –
http://tinyurl.com/ydykwdm
If nothing else, the post and comments will give you a chuckle or two. 😀
Popping out of lurkerdom to say that the Rosebud entry never came up on my LJ feed. I’m wondering how many other posts I’ve missed. o_O
Regarding lurking … sometimes I feel more anti-social than usual, and just can’t bring myself to comment. :/
(And other times, I see the posts way after everyone else, and don’t feel my thoughts are relevant anymore.)
Hi Gaycrow
How is that such an important post as the rosebud 😀 did not show up on your reader? You can still comment since I’m not writing the wrap up until tomorrow.
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>>(And other times, I see the posts way after everyone else, and don’t feel my thoughts are relevant anymore.)<< As I mentioned to another blogger, sometimes I receive comments on posts a year later and I do respond. The comments are there for anyone who may access it - a year, 2, 3 years later. * The guest reviewers work very hard on your behalf and those of other readers to give their opinions on books, so that you will know ahead of time whether or not those books are the ones you might like to buy. They perform a valuable service and I think it's a shame that many reviews only have 2 - 4 comments even though sometimes there are over 150 "views" of the post. * We're all busy and I appreciate that, but I hope that after this post more bloggers will comment so that we know what you feel about the posts and especially the reviews. * Thanks for commenting Gaycrow.
Wave, I do like the discussions you bring up here. Always interesting 😀
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To answer the question, for me, it depends on the blog and my particular day. Some blogs, I don’t comment on because I feel my point of view won’t be welcome, or maybe I’m just not interested in a particular topic after I’ve read it. Some blogs — particularly agent blogs — I’m reading for information only, not for interaction, so that’s why I don’t comment there. Most of the time, though, the reason I lurk on a blog (or a particular post on a blog) is because I just don’t have time to do more than read. If I comment, I feel that I should keep up with any answers anyone has for me, and answer them in turn, and most days my time is just way too short for that. Sad, really. I wish I had more time for blog discussions, because I like to talk!
I think it is the same issue I have when I go to a party…I don’t talk there either – LOL. Sometimes it is a feeling of “everyone knows one another…but no one knows me” or “who would want to read my thoughts on a particular subject” that sort of thing.
However, one of my goals this year is to comment more on other blogs. I know that when I get a comment on my blog…I am not judgmental about that person…so why do I think others will be that way. I love receiving comments on my blog, and I know that others do to. So, I am slowly but surely coming out of lurkdom and trying to comment on all the blogs I read.
I didn’t know you could comment right from the reader…will have to check that out.
Kara
>>Sometimes it is a feeling of “everyone knows one another…but no one knows me” or “who would want to read my thoughts on a particular subject” that sort of thing.<<
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I hope you don't get that feeling here because that's not the atmosphere I want to create or impression I wish to give. I think most of the bloggers here are friendly and we all try to give advice (sometimes too much) 😀 about books and recommendations. Look at what we achieved collectively with the Readers Favourite Gay Books. You guys did that – not me. I just started the ball rolling. Now that post has the highest number of “views,” almost 3000 in such a short time, which means that over 3000 readers accessed that post to check out your book recommendations.
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I look at this site as your online home away from home and I want you to feel that way too. We may do the posting but without you to give us feedback or keep the flow and energy going, regardless of the topic, we might as well be writing in a vacuum. Bloggers don’t realize how important they are to blog or site owners until one day they notice that the blog is gone and when they ask the reason they are told that the owner didn’t think anyone was interested so she/he closed up the shop.
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I hope you’ll comment occasionally and if you want to write me, my email address is on the site. Thanks for commenting on this post.
Hi Ally
>>Most of the time, though, the reason I lurk on a blog (or a particular post on a blog) is because I just don’t have time to do more than read. If I comment, I feel that I should keep up with any answers anyone has for me, and answer them in turn, and most days my time is just way too short for that<< * Thanks for this. I do understand the time thing because we all have compression issues. I guess what I was trying to find out more than anything is whether the lurkers here feel that they would not be welcome to join in the discussions, or they get a "cliquey" feel whenever they read the comments. I do try my best to be aware when I see someone new and I do welcome them without making a big deal about it, because the last thing a new blogger wants is too much attention. * You almost always comment on my blog posts because I think they are topics that interest you and I hope they will continue to do so. OTOH I'm just wondering if there are other topics that might be of interest to bloggers and I've missed the boat. * I'm hoping that this post will make some of them come out of lurkdom and participate a bit more, but the last thing I would want is for them to feel that they "have" to comment because that could become a burden.
Heh, yeah this is one of the few places I comment regularly. Partly because I DO find so many of the posts so interesting and comment-worthy, and partly because this blog has never felt clique-y or snobby or any of those other uncomfortable things to me. I like it here 🙂
I think Ally sums it up nicely for many of us….so much to do, so much to read, so much to learn….and so little time!
Just to let you know, us die hard lurkers do appreciate all you do and know that many of us read everyday and silently nod and respond in our heads – oh yeah, that’s right, oh no, well I never knew that, well of course not, not me, me too, yowsa, that’s hot, ewww, snort, right on, that’s hilarious and the stunned wtf?
Hi Chara
>>Just to let you know, us die hard lurkers do appreciate all you do and know that many of us read everyday and silently nod and respond in our heads – oh yeah, that’s right, oh no, well I never knew that, well of course not, not me, me too, yowsa, that’s hot, ewww, snort, right on, that’s hilarious and the stunned wtf?<< * I love your comment especially "yowsa, that's hot, ewww, snort, right on and the stunned wtf" 😀 That would be a blog post all on its own. I guess the "rosebuds" post was one of those that generated a few of the stunned wtfs and ewwws. 😀 * Well I'm glad you enjoy the posts and if you don't want to comment, even occasionally, I guess that's OK, but it would be nice to get your input based on this comment. 🙂
Okay…I’ll take the bait. There are a couple of reasons why I lurk. You hit on the main one, shyness. Way back, eons ago, when I would post on forums and groups I became gun shy because many responses to my comments were vicious. And I talking about “How to Re-bloom Your Phalanopsis Orchid.” Horticulturists are fierce! Reading, posting and commenting were stressful and unpleasant. Admonitions by group/site owners (I dating myself ) to play nice were not heeded.
The other main reason I lurk is that the “boys” are a side interest, a “virtual” hobby. I’m a dilettante and am not sure I have anything of substance to add.
Like Jen it has occurred to me that to get readership on my blog, I need to visit and post on other blogs. But my blog, such as it is, is G-rated. I was going to write that I’m not sure how interesting it would be to your readers, but then I am reading all sorts of blogs to feed my various interests! Who am I to judge.
I do enjoy visiting you. This is one of the best blogs out there on any topic.
Hi Nanina
Thank you for commenting. I really appreciate that it must have been an effort for you to do so after your experience on other sites, and I appreciate it.
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You may be surprised to find that the bloggers here have other G rated interests, so if you comment and link they may visit your site.
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Thank you for the compliment.
I lurk on blogs that have HUGE followings because if you’ve already gotten 300 comments, I don’t think my “Gee, that was nice” is really worthwhile. LOL
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If I feel I know you personally I will feel compelled to comment so you don’t feel that I’m ignoring you. Sometimes the bloggosphere does become and bit cliquey and I am part of some blog groups where we’ve all been commenting together for a year or more and we all “know” each other, we’ve met, we exchange Christmas cards, but we have never shunned someone new, but I can see how it’s hard to jump in on that kind of group dynamic where there are inside jokes, but you just have to take the plunge. Usually I find it’s been successful.
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And sometimes I just have nothing to say. The item is not of interest, I didn’t read the book, don’t want to read the book, I’m busy and missed the boat sometimes like Jordan noted, but if I visit somewhere regularly that has a small-blog feel I try to comment where appropriate.
Hi Tam
>>I can see how it’s hard to jump in on that kind of group dynamic where there are inside jokes, but you just have to take the plunge. Usually I find it’s been successful.<< * I hope that no one thinks this site only welcomes "regulars." I realize that many of those who comment frequently do become regulars, but I hope we don't become "cliquey." * I like it when other bloggers respond to posts especially the reviews, because the guest reviewers and I work very hard on their behalf and it's disappointing when only a few readers comment. Blog posts on general topics like this one of course draw a larger response but our mainstay is the book review which is where we concentrate most of our time and effort. I know that bloggers do check out the reviews by the number of "views", but the number of comments is still disappointing. * Thank you for always commenting and being encouraging.
I read your post, thought “Oh, I can respond to that!” and then read the comments and thought “Oh, they’ve already said what I was going to say!” Which sort of sums up my lurking experience. But since you are encouraging unlurkage, I’ll throw in my 3 cents.
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Jen must be my separated-at-birth twin. So: What she said. And Kara, too. It’s the feeling of who really cares what I think? I am definitely socially inept, hate parties and such, and that feeling of being in deep water carries over to blogland. Although I’m getting better at it.
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And like Tam, when I come across a post that already has many comments, I feel like I shouldn’t bother chiming in, everything’s been said.
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I still think it’s difficult to jump in when you feel like everyone knows everyone already. I’m not crazy about commenting when it seems like no one – not the host, not the other reader – cares or responds in any way. You do a good job of responding to your commenters, which helps.
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Now that I’ve started my own blog, I can see where you’d want everyone who views it to make even a little noise, and so I am making an effort to post on the blogs I read. Shoe on the other foot and all that.
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And as others have noted, time is an issue as well. There are posts that I want to respond to (at length) and I just can’t get to it. Like now…gotta run!
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But wave, you do have a great blog – interesting and friendly. And nice to look at!!! *g*
Hi Wren
>>But wave, you do have a great blog – interesting and friendly. And nice to look at!!! *g*<< I know exactly what you look at. :-D * I do understand about time constraints because I have them as well. * >>It’s the feeling of who really cares what I think? I am definitely socially inept, hate parties and such, and that feeling of being in deep water carries over to blogland.<< See, I really care what the bloggers who access the site think. If I didn't I wouldn't have as many opinion polls about what they like or don't like and what they would like to see more of. I must say that few bloggers have asked me to put more clothes on the guys. 😀 * Now that you have a blog I guess you know how important feedback is, and if you send me a link I would be happy to drop by AND comment.
I just usually can’t think of anything to say, without it being mere regurgitation of previous comments. I admit, my upbringing has a lot to do with this. My mother always told us, don’t say anything you wouldn’t feel comfortable with seeing on the front page of the newspaper the next day. I walk away from half-written comments and posts regularly. And I’m considered the loose-lipped member of the family, amazingly enough.
Hi Laurije
My main concern is the book reviews. I’m sure you must read M/M romances but I don’t recall you commenting on the reviews. We need feedback about new book suggestions or whether the review has hit the mark.
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Publishers tell me that their customer surveys indicate a lot of buyers tell them they bought a book because of a review on this site, yet we would not know that based on the amount of comments on the reviews.
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We appreciate your comments because it helps to make us better and fine tune our reviewing skills, so if nowhere else that would be one area you might want to comment on initially if you were so inclined.
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Thanks Laurije
I occasionally read at work, but not often because I’m never sure what NSFW pictures might dwell within a post, so I’m wary of even checking my reader from work.
But mostly, I’ll post when I have something to say. A lot of why I visit is to find out about great books, so I can accomplish that by reading, not commenting. Hmmmm. I also check the posts from my phone. And it’s just a PITA to comment from my phone.
I promise if I have something great to contribute, I’ll chime in.
Hi Lori
>>I occasionally read at work, but not often because I’m never sure what NSFW pictures might dwell within a post, so I’m wary of even checking my reader from work.<< I know that this site is rated NC 17 (maybe it should be rated R) 😀 so it's not a good idea to check it at work although some very bad bloggers including Ingrid do so. * The mobile access is for those who are on the run and many bloggers comment from their phones but as you say it may be a bit of a pain. However, I just hope that you will comment from time to time, especially on the reviews, because the guest reviewers work very hard on your bahalf and it would be a shame if they did not feel the love. 😀
Hmmmm. Sometimes it’s easier. I know when I’m short on time I read, but not comment, because it takes up time.
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Sometimes it’s just for the information and not the interaction.
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Sometimes it’s because I don’t always like the crowd that hang with certain blogs. Not this one, but I know some blogs that have lots of teenage hanger-ons and they can annoy me like crazy so I don’t bother commenting. Or some of the crowd is just creepy 😉
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As to a suggestion for a topic. How about sterotypes for characters? Sometimes it seems like authors have a hat where they pick out their characters and these seem like copies of characters from other stories, but with a different look and name. (that is if it hasn’t been done before…not that I can remember!) Am I making sense? 😉
Larissa
I have no complaints about you. 😀 Not only do you comment but you send me pictures of hot guys for the Friday Guys. Thank you for being so supportive and even commenting when you had no high speed access in Western Canada. :).
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>>Sometimes it’s just for the information and not the interaction.<< I do understand that but sometimes we need information too. Many times you email me or leave a comment with new information that I would not have known otherwise. * >>As to a suggestion for a topic. How about sterotypes for characters? Sometimes it seems like authors have a hat where they pick out their characters and these seem like copies of characters from other stories, but with a different look and name. << That's an excellent topic. Sso that I don't hog all the posts I'll ask someone else to tackle this topic and I know just the person. 🙂 * Thanks again Larissa.
Thank you! LOL it’s good to know and I can’t hog all the hot guys I come across now can I 😉
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About the no internet across Canada, well it worked both ways. You guys kept me sane when all I had for interaction were a bunch of horses and a 15 barn cats 😉
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If I think of any more topics, I’ll let you know!
I agree with so many others point of view..
I lurk here and many other places, some topics drag me off the side lines however – but I am Ok to lurk, not sure if I can stop in five minutes though….
>>>I have always commented even before I had a blog and I soon found out the blogs that were not welcoming and stopped going there.>>>
I so agree with you on that -and more and more I am seeing bloggers not responding to comment…
That so turn me off… you want my opinon.. talk back to me as well..
If the topic call to me I will definitely comment..
Great post
Thanks for commenting Erotic Horizon
>>That so turn me off… you want my opinon.. talk back to me as well..
If the topic call to me I will definitely comment..
Great post << I am trying to take my own advice and comment more on the sites I visit and I'm also trying to expand the sites that I do visit. I will never be able to keep up but I will be adding some more sites to the "Cool Blogs" or "Blogroll" links to make it easier to visit. * Thanks for commenting EH.
Ok, I admit I’m one of those lurkers. I guess I don’t comment because of the shyness factor. I love reading this blog, everyone always seems nice whether they agree or not, and I want to say something, but shyness stops me. So from now on I’ll try to comment. Btw yesterdays post. Absolutely hysterical even though you were being serious. I had to wipe the tears away I was laughing so hard.
Hi Patty
>>I love reading this blog, everyone always seems nice whether they agree or not, and I want to say something, but shyness stops me. << We were all shy the first time we commented on a blog post. I was just like you because I had no idea of the on line protocols and whether I would get my ass handed to me by the blog moderator or owner. However it worked out and here I am today with so many online friends that sometimes I don't miss RL friends (which is another blog topic). * >>Btw yesterdays post. Absolutely hysterical even though you were being serious. I had to wipe the tears away I was laughing so hard.<< * I'm happy that you had some fun with that post. I'm just getting back in the groove and who knows what topic I'll tackle next. :) If you want to check out some of the older topics go to the top of the left hand sidebar, under Navigation click on Polls you will find a lot of my commentary – if you go back to a year or so ago there are some screamingly funny ones which I might update since nothing remains the same. 🙂
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Thanks for commenting – see how easy it was?
I lurked for quite some time here before I commented for the first time. The reasons? Well, like in real life, I like to get the feel of people first before I join any discussion/site/forum. If I don’t like the people, I just lurk to read the information.
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I used to be very shy and therefore master lurker, but then I met some very nice people online and now I’m more willing to join in. Plus, I have some very exotic interests and there aren’t many people who share them so we tend to be nice to each other. XD But, I almost never do it the first time I come across the site – like I probably wouldn’t talk to complete stranger. That’s probably the reason why I didn’t have many bad experiences like some people.
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There are other reasons too, some mentioned by others: lack of time or interest in certain topics, difference in age, experience, etc.
LadyM
I’m really pleased that you have taken to commenting here like a duck takes to water. Thank you.
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>>Plus, I have some very exotic interests and there aren’t many people who share them so we tend to be nice to each other. << I assume that some of those "exotic interests" are met on a site like this one. 😀 Always happy to help.
What a great topic, Wave! I know what you mean about how good it is to get comments on the blog, especially on the reviews which are the heart of the site.
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I love getting comments on my reviews here and on my own blog, and I don’t mind at all if someone is just saying, “Good point,” or “I agree,” or “Fun post!” or “Yeah.” Bless their hearts just for taking the time to do that.
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Traffic stats are good but comments are even better. When I’m not getting either over on my blog, it can sometimes feel like I’m just opening a vein and pouring my life blood into the blog for nothing (not to be too melodramatic).
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Everybody here has mentioned some very good reasons for why they may lurk. It sounds like the biggest reasons come down to the following:
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1. time constraints
2. relevance (what’s the point of coming in a month late, or being commenter #301, or saying what’s already been said)
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Those are my main reasons, but I understand the shyness thing as well, and also what the orchid lady mentioned about others on different blogs getting snotty about opinions relating to the most innocuous subjects (and THAT I think is a part of the www culture that maybe was first shaped by teenage boys in RPG forums and then filtered out to the rest of us — that habit of being rude in forums because they can get away with it).
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Other than time constraints and relevance (and what Ally said about visiting some blogs just to soak up info and not to comment), the main reason I won’t comment is if the post or blog has an unpleasant clique-type feeling.
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This has to go to an extreme to put me off, but I’ve seen it happen on blogs where the cute banter between commenters and the obscure in-jokes make the whole thing incomprehensible to a newcomer. Snarky blogs can get like that where to comment is like helping a group beat up an individual — very icky feeling.
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The other reason I’ll refrain from commenting is if I try to comment in the past and get ignored. It takes effort to comment, and it takes trust to put your name on a comment and put it out there on the www. If I do all that and don’t even get a reply from the blog host (and it’s fine if the reply is just, “Thanks.”), and this turns into a pattern, I probably won’t even show up to read the blog anymore unless the post is really compelling and I get there on search or something.
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Not to go on at length, but this is a VERY interesting topic! Wave, your blog is one of the most welcoming ones I know. Very nice, lively community here. 🙂
Val
I love your response. As a blog owner yourself you know how important it is to get reaction from bloggers who read your reviews and blog posts. It’s not that we’re looking for an ego rub but we’re really interested to know if we’re on the right track.
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>>Traffic stats are good but comments are even better<< That's exactly my point. I'm really pleased that so many bloggers view the content on the site but the number of comments on the reviews most of the time are in inverse proportion to the number of "views" or hits on a post. Without feedback we all feel that we're just fluff in the universe because no one comments on what we say. I think we need about a 100% increase in comments on the reviews - the other blog posts always attract a large audience and do not suffer from a lack of comments. Surprisingly this one generated a lot more comments than I expected. * I do understand time constraints - I have them myself, but relevance is a matter of perspective. As I mentiioned earlier, I get comments on posts that are over a year old and respond to them, and sometimes other bloggers who just found the post comment on those later comments. So it all works out. * >>Not to go on at length, but this is a VERY interesting topic! Wave, your blog is one of the most welcoming ones I know. Very nice, lively community here<< * This topic affects all blog owners unless you own one of the huge blogs which neither of us does. Thanks for the compliment about this site being welcoming - that is almost entirely due to people like yourself and the other bloggers who comment. I rest my case. 😀
**De-Lurking**
Wave – My biggest issue with commenting on book reviews is spoliers. I would love to discuss why I also a agree or disagree with a review but I am not sure how I can without spoliers. I know it is possible, it just seems like it would take so much time to self-edit. Many blogs are so militant about spoliers, may be I am just jaded.
I have only being lurking here for a month or so not sure if I have the vibe of this blog picked up yet.
Regardless, I love this blog and I think you are doing a great job.
Hi Aquina
Nice to meet you. 🙂
>>My biggest issue with commenting on book reviews is spoliers<< Think how careful reviewers have to be, not to have spoilers in their reviews. * You can comment without spoilers on reviews by talking about the characterizations - Do you think the author did a good job on the protagonists? Did the reviewer get it right, in your opinion? Did you agree with some of the conclusions reached by the reviewer if you read the book? Did you think the book needed a lot of work? Was the murder mystery enough of a mystery? Did you guess the killer half way through the book? etc. * >>I have only been lurking here for a month or so not sure if I have the vibe of this blog picked up yet.<< We're very friendly and love to have fun. For example tomorrow Tam is doing a fun post (I can't tell you what it is because then I would have to kill you). 🙂 I hope you'll comment and thanks for chiming in today.
I used to be a lurker mostly due to shyness and other people having already said what I wanted to say. Also I have to admit to a little bit of author intimidation. You have so many of the authors I like commenting and involved so there is always the ‘why would anyone be interested in my comment when all these famous authors are here? But I have to say when I comment I usually get a response back even if it’s just a thank you.
Hi Suzi
I’m really pleased you delurked to comment on this post and I hope you’ll do it more often.
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>>Also I have to admit to a little bit of author intimidation. You have so many of the authors I like commenting and involved so there is always the ‘why would anyone be interested in my comment when all these famous authors are here?<< * I have a secret and even Ethan will back me up on this - authors are like regular people, the only difference is that they write books. They put on their clothes the same way you do and go to the bathroom just like 'regular' people. 😀 There's no need to feel intimidated, and as a matter of fact many of them want to hear from readers who like their books - you might want to try that sometime. * I hope you will continue on this road and comment often. I look forward to seeing your name.
I know you care what the bloggers think, wave. That definitely comes across and is what sets the tone for others. And okay, I hereby promise to make more comments on the reviews, even if just to say ‘good job.’ 🙂
And even though it’s not as pretty to look at as yours (heh heh) here’s my blog: http://wrenboudreau.blogspot.com/
Hi Wren
I checked out your site and did exactly what I’m complaining about because I was too anxious to read your interview. However I did leave a comment on the interview so that counts, doesn’t it?
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🙂 You don’t have to comment all the time just occasionally on the review of a book that you’re interested in. I know you’re busy.
Of course that counts, Wave! 🙂
This post is exactly what I needed.
I love your site.It`s interesting,informative and very friendly.I write comments on posts and reviews all the time- but only in my head.I´ve read about 500 m/m-romances but my writing skills in english language are embarrassing and- who wants to know what I have to say?I´ve tried to comment in a blog once (not here)and the comments were… not so nice.
Now I´m waiting for much more reviews so that I know what to read next.
Hi Simsala
That’s interesting that you write comments in your head all the time. 🙂 Now you’ll have to put some of them down elsewhere – like here sometimes. I look forward to hearing from you. 🙂
I lurk mainly due to the 300 blogs I follow in my reader. I wish I could comment on everyone’s blogs I visit but that would take days.
KB
You follow 300 blogs??? where do you find the time? No wonder you can’t comment. 🙂 Ignore my post – anyone who follows that many blogs should at least have time to read a book rather than responding to blog posts. 🙂
You brought my out of lurkdom because I do have a suggestion for a blog topic 🙂 Safe Sex in Contemporary Novels
I find it alarming how many stories I read that describe the character licking precum or swallowing cum, but then put on a condom for anal sex. Ummm, that’s not safe sex!
Hi Deanna
Funny you should mention that. I saw a small post somewhere where a reader mentioned this and I made a note to do some research on the subject. I’ll have to ask some of my more learned friends for their opinions before writing anything but I definitely will. Thanks for reminding me and congratulations on coming out of lurkdom. 🙂
I lurk because
1) I primarily use a reader to keep track of the various blogs I like (and for the life of me I cannot see how to comment from the reader without clicking through to the web site),
2) time issues – usually I’m either short on time or reading the post several days after it has been posted, and
3) redundancy (if others have said what my thoughts were, what’s the point of a “ditto”?).
Another factor that comes into play is how receptive the other blog participants are to alternative opinions or even simple questions. While the actual blog-owner(s) may be great (though often unwilling to tell their “regulars” to knock it off), very often the followers are much less so. It’s a sad fact that many people cannot deal with anyone having an opinion differing from theirs, no matter how neutrally stated, and like to gang-up on anyone they feel to be “inferior”. We’ve probably all seen cases of this on other blogs in one form or another and after awhile it just makes you wary and weary.
That said, this site is very, very nice. Great content, comprehensive reviews that will generally give me an idea of whether or not I will like the book regardless of the reviewers overall opinion, and a welcoming atmosphere. I’ll try to do my part in de-lurking a bit more often. 🙂
SCSPayne
>>I primarily use a reader to keep track of the various blogs I like (and for the life of me I cannot see how to comment from the reader without clicking through to the web site), << * I use the RSS feed and there's a comment box that opens to the site, but it takes me back immediately to the feed after I comment. That's the best solution I know. * >>Another factor that comes into play is how receptive the other blog participants are to alternative opinions or even simple questions. While the actual blog-owner(s) may be great (though often unwilling to tell their “regulars” to knock it off), very often the followers are much less so. << * I have had occasion to tell posters that they can't be rude to others, if it's brought to my attention, and if it persists then that person would no longer be welcome. However, I can't be everywhere and don't see all the comments unless I originate the post. * Time is a huge issue I admit and it's quite understandable that bloggers have other RL priorities. * >>That said, this site is very, very nice. Great content, comprehensive reviews that will generally give me an idea of whether or not I will like the book regardless of the reviewers overall opinion, and a welcoming atmosphere. I’ll try to do my part in de-lurking a bit more often<< * I appreciate the sentence I highlighted. :-D Thank you for commenting and I know that the guest reviewers will appreciate it even more if you comment on the reviews that you like so much.
The truth? I’m just not a particularly social person. I comment now and then, but I’ve never spent a long time in any online social situation, like a forum or blog.
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Either I go so long without posting that people forget about me, my interests wane, or I just don’t feel as though I fit in, and I end up doing something else.
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It’s no reflection on the person maintaining the blog or the forum or whatever, it’s just how I am personally. I’m a one-on-one person, that’s all.
Mikuto
That’s cool too. Everyone doesn’t have to comment. I was really interested in why more people weren’t commenting and I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t because they felt like outsiders. Some people are just not social and they feel more comfortable not being very visible.
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Thank you for letting me know why you don’t comment and have a wonderful weekend.
I only comment on rare occasions. It’s not because I’m antisocial, it’s not because of amount of blogs I follow, and it’s not because my comment would be a repeat of what someone else has already said. I only comment when I feel my voice NEEDS to be heard. And generally, I don’t get that feeling very often. Especially not with blogs.
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Also, I’m anal about what I write, no matter how small. One blog comment can take me over 15 minutes to write. I feel that if I’m going to take the time to comment it should be clear and contain more than “oh, I thought that too”.
Michelle
I hear you. When bloggers first start commenting they feel that everything they say should be important when truthfully just chatting with the other bloggers about books would be a good start.
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Whenever you feel you want to participate that’s O.K. with me.
Another shy lurker here.:) I am a faithful reader of your blog and I really enjoy reading it, but I often feel I don’t have anything to add to what has already been said. Also, English is not my first language, and while I read it without too much difficulty, writing something is another story entirely. It’s a time-consuming process, and sadly I have a very busy RL (and a job where I don’t have internet access, which doesn’t help).
But I appreciate your work and the atmosphere you managed to create here. It’s a friendly place and doesn’t have a clikey feel to it, at least in my opinion, although it can be intimidating for an outsider… You were right about commenting taking the usual lurker out off their comfort zone. I’m not feeling very comfortable right now, honestly, but I’m glad you gave us the opportunity to express ourselves and to thank you for this site.:)
Hi Bagma
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I know it must have taken a lot for you to do so and I appreciate it.
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I’ll tell you a secret – many of the bloggers on this site speak another language than English, starting with Christian the Webmaster who is German. All you have to do is look at the flags of the different commenters on the various posts and you will be able to tell that for many of them English is a foreign language, but they manage. It doesn’t matter if your English is not perfect – I’m sure that if I tried to comment on a blog in Switzerland it would be difficult for me but at least you’re trying and I applaud you for doing that.
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I hope now that you see it’s not so scary that you’ll comment again and often. I look forward to seeing your name Bagma. 😀
I don’t lurk. There are blogs I’m chattier on (this is one) and blogs that I am quieter on (usually because of speech codes that I’m forever running afoul of. (who knew “maroon” was a racist term?)
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I came up the hard way on usenet groups and pre-yahoo mailinglists. Nothing on the net scares me.
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Larissa, they’re called Stock Characters. They have a long and noble history going clear back to the Commedia del Arte. If you read a bunch of Ken Follett novels in a row, you’ll start picking out his stock. Naomi and I use them.
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Suzi, all of us “famous authors” put our pants on one leg at a time. But i do understand what the SCA calls “peer fear” (a reluctance to approach those of higher rank). Trust me, once you’ve made a fool of yourself over Terry Prachett–including offering him Sex with the Captain (a drink)–it pretty much dissolves. Much like delivering a baby in front of 20 nursing students relieves you any modesty.
Angel
>>I don’t lurk. There are blogs I’m chattier on (this is one) << * I appreciate the fact that you feel you can let your hair down on this site and you're pretty good about commenting on the reviews as well. * Thank you.
time, nothing useful to say, trying to conserve my typing capacity because the rsi is playing up — or as tonight, because i slipped on ice this morning and am typing one-handed — minds out of the gutter thank you — hence lack of capitals.
a while back, because i found the site very slow loading and physically uncomfortable to read, so read only the main post rss feed syndicated to lj, not the full comment feed. a post had to really push me to want to comment for me to click through and wait for the page to load. the new skin is much better for me, so a few more comments from me now.
Jules
You shouldn’t even be typing – now I feel really bad. I was not going to make any jokes about one hand reads – I’m not that kind of person *chuckle*
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>>the new skin is much better for me, so a few more comments from me now.<< I'm happy about that and look forward to your comments but only when you're better. Take care.
I’ve become a much more irregular blog visitor lately (nose to the grindstone and other reasons). When I do go on a cruise, I tend only to look at the most recent post on each blog. If it interests me, I’ll blab; if not, or I have nothing to contribute, I’m gone. Too time-consuming otherwise.
KZ
I do understand your reasons and I appreciate the fact that you comment here occasionally, with your schedule. It could become like another job if bloggers felt they had to comment on every post on every site they frequent. When would they have the time to eat and play? I can always tell when you’re extra busy – you don’t visit the Friday Guys. 😀
I lurked for a bit before taking the plunge and finally commenting. My reasons were pretty much the same as others have commented. Shyness, wasn’t sure I would add anything important to what was already said, didn’t read or care for a particular book or saw the post late.
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However, once I did start commenting it was loads of fun. I’ve since found other great blogs as well that I enjoy going to and now feel comfortable in blogland.
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Once I started my own blog and writing my posts it felt easier to comment on others. Weird but true.
Lily
I never thought of you as a lurker because as I tell anyone who wll listen, you and Mary M were the first posters when I started my old blog, and you have continued to support me ever since.
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Maybe if you two hadn’t commented I might have given up on the blog, so in a way it’s your fault that I do what I do. 😀 I really appreciated the fact that you would check back faithfully whenever I posted every 3 days or so; it made me feel so good that you thought my reviews were worthwhile. Thank you.
I believe the reasons I don’t post frequently area as follows- Sometimes I just don’t have the time or mental energy to write coherent posts. I have posted one to many times spur of the moment and regretted my lack of eloquence or understandability. There are times when another “poster” has already said what I am thinking and I can’t say it better myself. Finally times when I don’t have anything to say.
Tara
I was sure that I responded to your comment but I can’t find it so I’ll repeat myself if necessary. I do understand your reasons for not commenting. However, if at any time there’s a book review that moves you I hope you will post a comment.
Frankly, Wave, I’m here for the freebies. lol Randy you STUD!!
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Hey, Christian is a real live person? I figured he might be another acronym like our dear little randy. I’m shocked. (is christian open to bribes?)
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Ok, lurkers are not just here on your blog, Wave, and I know you know that. And as alot of you have said, you have a limited amount of time and you have to pick and choose what topic to blog on. I do alot in Yahoo and google groups. I ‘own’ a yahoo group for gay fiction, mostly fuck stories. It has just over 3000 members, but if 10 people respond to a post that’s a red letter day. I’ve encouraged members to post, either a story or a comment on a story. I get little response. But I do have a couple of regular posters and that keeps the group going.
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I have been a member of a video sharing group that required their members to post a video a month or be unsubscribed from that particular group. That has its own good and bad points.
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Mostly with my group I encourage them to post, but then I tell them that there wouldn’t be a group if it weren’t for the lurkers. It is a symbiosis type of relationship. Posters need someone to read their post, and lurkers need someone to post.
John
You should be ashamed of yourself. You can’t just stop by for free books, you have to participate as well or I’ll talk to Randy. 😀
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>>Hey, Christian is a real live person? I figured he might be another acronym like our dear little randy. I’m shocked. (is christian open to bribes?)<< Christian is very much a real person and he's also the Webmaster for this site so you should be polite to him. He's a hot looking gay man who lives in Germany so the next time you're travelling to Europe I might give you his email address if his BF doesn't object. * >>Mostly with my group I encourage them to post, but then I tell them that there wouldn’t be a group if it weren’t for the lurkers. It is a symbiosis type of relationship. Posters need someone to read their post, and lurkers need someone to post.<< This is exactly my point. If no one commented on the posts we would all get discouraged and go home and there would be no more free books for you. 🙂
I’ve been a dedicated lurker from the first mailing lists I joined (mumble years ago). I rarely comment because I am not a very talkative person and I prefer not to repeat what others have said before me. Never could stand all the ‘me, too’ posts on the lists. But, if something pulls my string hard enough, you’ll hear from me!
Hi Celeste
>>But, if something pulls my string hard enough, you’ll hear from me!<< I hope we can pull your strings hard enough to hear from you. 😀
I think having a lot of lurkers comes with having a bigger site. If I think of the yahoogroup, when we were only 10 members pretty much everyone responded to everyone else’s posts. Now, only 2 or three posts a week get more than 2 or 3 replies.
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I don’t think I have much to add about the reasons why people lurk; they have pretty much all been said. At some places I lurk because it’s very big and unfamiliar, so I won’t comment until I get a “feel” of the site. A lot of sites I used to visit and comment on I now only lurk at because I don’t have time to comment – I’d rather try to read as much as I can instead. Sometimes I’d rather not comment if I can’t comment properly and extensively, and extensive, thought-out comments take a long time to write for some *raises hands*. Not having anything to add is another reason (expecially if combined with the lack of time). Also, sometimes I’ve reads posts that sounded interesting and ultimately weren’t, or there just wasn’t anything to add to what had been said (I’m not talking about your site here :D).
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Then, one last reason very typical of me that might add to your “lurkers” statistics, is that I often open a post to read it and comment on it, then I have to close the window before I do so. Then I open it again later in the day, but my computer freezes and I have to start everything over. I open it again when I get home then start anwering my mails and when I come to turn off my computer I remember the post and decide I’m to tired and will comment on the post the next day. And so on. You wouldn’t believe the number of posts I haven’t commented on, on this site alone, after doing that. I know, I know, I need to subscribe to PA (Procrastinators Anonymous). LOL.
I have lurked on sites for months and not posted, though I only found this site a few weeks ago. I really had to think about why I do not post. For me blogs are not about participating in a conversation, they are much more spectator entertainment like watching a movie, television show or even reading a book.
As I have broken the fourth wall and joined this conversation I make these comments:
1. I love your site. I think the reviews are faboo. I have realized I do not often think about why I liked a book or not. I am reading to relax and have fun not for any higher purpose. But the reviews are not only fun, sometimes snort and laugh out loud fun (which is the whole reason I am reading and hence the lurkage), it is like sanctioned cheating; someone else does all the hard work of actually reasoning the book out and I just get to agree or not. I have found that I enjoy reading the reviews for books as much or, depending on the book,more then the stories.
2. I would be really interested in the post about safe sex. I remember reading in a few places, Chris Owens Gemini for one, about acceptable risk for oral sex. But like my reading of the reviews I would like someone else to figure that out for me then let me know. As I review the last sentence I think it lazy but honest.
3. I like the Friday boys….pretty, pretty,pretty.
4. I would post if I did not think my thoughts were repetitive of statements already made or they sound like a 12 year old fangirl in my own head so really what would they be like written down.
5. I think I would post if my personal motto was anything other than – Bad spellers of the world untie.
Thank you Wave and all your reviewers for your work. It is appreciated by more people then you know and by many more then comment.
While this is a very open site, I don’t think of this as just a blog. It’s sort of a blog-plus. You offer information as well as opinions and there will always be those ‘read only’ individuals who may not post comments for a multitude of reasons.
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I think the fact that you’re always reminding & assuring people that it’s safe to comment and that you genuinely welcome their POV is great. That old saying — you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink — is true. I think you make people WANT to drink the water, though. And that’s half the battle. : )
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And keep in mind; some people just like to watch. ; )
Hi Ethan
>>And keep in mind; some people just like to watch. ; ) << * I knew I would regret this post if you ever saw it. :-D * >>While this is a very open site, I don’t think of this as just a blog. It’s sort of a blog-plus. You offer information as well as opinions << * Thank you for this Ethan. I try to offer information even when I may offend some people. For example, the "Rosebud" post related to something that anyone who reads M/M romances or gay fiction thought about at some point. :-D Someone made a reference to chocolate butt which was enough to put me off my favourite treat. :) * >>I think you make people WANT to drink the water, though<< * I hope you didn't tell them what was in the water Ethan - you promised. 😀
Tara
>>I have posted one to many times spur of the moment and regretted my lack of eloquence or understandability<< Eloquence is not "required" in order to comment on a blog post. I always say what's on my mind (without being rude, of course) because in most cases if I stop to think I won't comment. * Not having anything to say is a good reason not to say something. 😀 The last thing I want is to make bloggers feel that they "have" to comment. People should "enjoy" doing so when they get the urge. So the next time you get the urge I look forward to reading your comment.
HeidiS
>> I really had to think about why I do not post. For me blogs are not about participating in a conversation, they are much more spectator entertainment like watching a movie, television show or even reading a book.
As I have broken the fourth wall and joined this conversation I make these comments:<< * Thank you for breaking your rule and deciding to comment on this post. I really appreciate it. * >>I love your site. I think the reviews are faboo. << I think the reviewers love to hear that and maybe sometime when a review really moves you you might want to let the reviewer know - I'm sure she would appreciate it. * >>But the reviews are not only fun, sometimes snort and laugh out loud fun (which is the whole reason I am reading and hence the lurkage), it is like sanctioned cheating; someone else does all the hard work of actually reasoning the book out and I just get to agree or not. I have found that I enjoy reading the reviews for books as much or, depending on the book,more then the stories.<< This is the best compliment that I've seen of our reviews. What a wonderful thing to say and I wasn't fishing for compliments for the reviews on the site. :-D * Re the suggestion of a post on safe sex I will have to give some thought to how to write it since I have no medical knowledge. I will do some research and talk to a few people before I attempt it. * >>Thank you Wave and all your reviewers for your work. It is appreciated by more people then you know and by many more then comment.<< * That comment makes this post worthwhile.
One of my reasons for only following a few blogs is the time restraint. Personally I rather follow a few blogs more closely then 100 from afar.
I have more bookmarked but only look at them when I have the time to do so.
Mary
>>Then, one last reason very typical of me that might add to your “lurkers” statistics, is that I often open a post to read it and comment on it, then I have to close the window before I do so. Then I open it again later in the day, but my computer freezes and I have to start everything over. I open it again when I get home then start anwering my mails and when I come to turn off my computer I remember the post and decide I’m to tired and will comment on the post the next day. And so on.<< * You are one of the most faithful posters on this site and you have always been supportive. However you do recall me saying that you probably need your own computer and maybe you should leave your Dad's alone, don't you? 😀 * All of the reasons you gave for not commenting are valid - some sites are too big - you want to write an extensive well thought out comment etc. There is also RL. My main concern is about the reviews. The guest reviewers spend a great deal of time and effort reading the books and writing indepth reviews (not just 4 lines about a 350 page book) and I feel badly when there are maybe 4 comments compared to 200 "views." * Thanks for commenting Mary. I do appreciate the time.
I’m one of those “rarely posts” people, I think, but generally by the time I get over here, everyone else has already said what I’m thinking. I’m more the “comment when I strongly agree or disagree” sort, rather than the “chime in with ‘oh, cool post’ at will” type. *blushes*
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That said, I’ll TRY to comment more if you really want me to, though I do tend to get rather wordy. LOL
~Tis
TC
We don’t mind wordy and you can post just whenever there’s something of interest, like a hot looking guy – that works. 😀
Similar to what others have said, it’s usually 1) a time constraint issue 2) a post that I see as informational (like reviews) where I don’t have an opinion or response other than “thank you” or “great post” (which I’m sure you’d like to hear more of). On this site, for me, it isn’t an issue of not feeling welcome to post. You do a great job encouraging comments and have always made me feel welcome when I do comment.
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I’d say the number of visits and the number of us that keep coming back to the site shows that you have strong, interesting content/reviews. Maybe this post will encourage those who were unsure about posting that this is truly a friendly, welcoming blog.
Hi Sloan
You do comment whenever a post interests you and provide a lot of feedback or ask questions, which is what we like. I don’t expect you or anyone else to comment on all the reviews or other blog posts because that would be a full time job 😀 Just an occasional nod so that we know you’re out there on the interwebz would be wonderful.
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Thank you.
There are a number of reasons (and I’ve only recently subscribed)
– I get the blog through the rss feed and and I have to actually go to the post to comment
– Rarely feel the need to comment on reviews
– Often, by the time I have time to get to the site, someone may have expressed an opinion very similar to mine — and I dislike me too posts.
– socially inept :0 — well not really , just more a watcher than a performer. I tend to be a bit streaky about how verbal I want to be.
– I’m a reader, not a writer
Just my 2 cents.
Hi Beau
Thank you for writing.
>>Rarely feel the need to comment on reviews<< >>I’m a reader, not a writer<< It's always good to know why people lurk and I realize that not everyone likes to comment in a public forum (but you're doing really well today) :) Your reasons for not posting are quite valid and I respect them all, especially this one >>just more a watcher than a performer.<< ** I appreciate you responding to this post and I hope that occasionally, when you feel the urge, that you will respond to others. Have a good evening.
Well, I mostly lurk for two reasons… 1. I don’t feel as if I have anything interesting to add. I’ll start typing something, read it before posting and decide it sounds dumb; so it gets deleted. 2. I always feel like the new kid. It seems that everyone has a previous relationship; with all the inside stuff I’m not privy to, so I just would rather feel stuff out before jumping in.
I do buy a lot of the books I see reviewed here, so I appreciate all the work everyone puts in.
This blog is always a wonderful read! Thank you all.
But as for lurking, many of the reasons above apply: time constraints, posting-shyness, redundancy, time lapse etc. but mostly it’s the lack of time, and a wonky internet connection.
But, truth be told, I do find it frustratingly difficult trying to convey my thoughts and ideas into written words the way I want to. It’s like they fly from my head off into outer space and before an answer is trickling through my fingers huge chunks of my reasoning seem to be missing. By that time someone else has made a point in a more entertaining and concise way, or it’s been a week!
I also have a talent of putting my foot in my mouth, and find myself oddly defenseless if someone takes my comments the wrong way when I’ve meant no harm. My usual way of communicating is rapid mouth fire and the visual arts, writing… not so much. I’m down right crappy in the latter, and as I delight in reading comments that do and can I feel I should ruthlessly delete my own filler comments before posting. Maybe I should draw my answers, at least I wouldn’t have to tear so much hair.
Kady
Thank you for commenting.
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>>But, truth be told, I do find it frustratingly difficult trying to convey my thoughts and ideas into written words the way I want to. It’s like they fly from my head off into outer space and before an answer is trickling through my fingers huge chunks of my reasoning seem to be missing. << * I think you're being too hard on yourself. We all experience this and it doesn't matter if what you say is not said perfectly, as long as you express your thoughts. You did very well here. 🙂 and I hope you'll comment again when you have the time or see something you would like to talk about. * Have a wonderful evening.
I’m a notorious lurker from way back (not on this blog, but on others), but I’ll try to post here as often as possible. I just found this blog through Torquere Press’ Happy Hour’s Journal, so I will be looking through your archives, and hopefully checking the new stuff every day. I must say, from what I’ve read already, this is a very friendly place.
Countrygirl
I’m so happy you responded to this post. I try my best to encourage lurkers to comment – the first time is always the hardest.
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We are very friendly – sometimes too much so.
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There’s a lot of good stuff in the archives. Many bloggers are still responding to posts I did over a year ago.
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Welcome and I hope you stick around.
I missed this post completely. I think many people are put off by the wank they see everywhere on the net, and are worried about giving their opinions because they feel they might be flamed down. I have to say that your blog is one of the few blogs – and possibly the only writerly blog I know that dissaudes wank. Like my own LJ it encourages lively debate and lets people give their view but doesn’t tolerate personal attacks, so all the lurkers should feel reassured of that.
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Secondly some of it is complacency. My own internet friends hardly comment here any more, even when I advertise on my blog because they know me and consider that I won’t care whether they do or not!!
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Some people have said to me that they think their views aren’t important enough to be heard, which is not true, any view is important, imho. Or that they are too shy – or they think the blogger is “too important” to be interested in anything they have to say. Er. No! 🙂
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It’s great to see such a good response to this post, and subsequently an increase in comments in general. Hurrah!
Hi Erastes
Thanks for commenting. One of the qualities I admire about you is that you always comment if you find a post interesting.
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I have always wondered why most people don’t comment, other than being shy, and this post really opened my eyes. As you know, a large percentage of the bloggers who log on to this site live in countries where English is not their first language and I found out they are concerned that their command of the language may not be up to par. I admire them for writing in English because I could not write in their labnguage – I barely know a little French I’m ashamed to say, even though I live in a bilingual country.
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Some of the bloggers are intimidated by the number of authors who hang out here because they think you guys will be condescending or stuck up. 🙂 I give them my usual talk about everyone putting on their pants one leg at a time.
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I consider all of the bloggers who log on here to be important and I treat them the same way I treat my clients – I need their feedback to know if I’m doing a good job and the only way I’ll know that is if they comment.
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I hope that the bloggers will continue to comment – as you say, there has been a marked increase in comments this week. 🙂 I think I’ll just have to give them a gentle reminder whenever they go into “sleep” mode.